Like it or not, we exist in a hierarchal patriarchy; one that places cis white men at the top. Gender-based inequality hurts everyone, yes, even men. The vicious thing about our cultural gender inequality is that it is everywhere. I notice it in the way I was raised. I hear it in the news, in advertising, in entertainment. I feel it in the dick jokes I tell on all-white-male film sets. Cis men seem to think the rest of us are allowed to say no. In my experience, denying the demands of an exploitative employer, pushy family, an impatient customer – even with a smile on my face – comes at a cost. This shifting price tag is the insidious underbelly of a sexist beast. Maybe I don’t lose my job, but my boss thinks I’m entitled and I am forever treated as such. If I dodge an expensive visit, my family thinks I’m selfish and cold, an ingrate. And, in our end-stage capitalistic consumerism nightmare, the customer knows they are always right, even when they are aggressively wrong.
It rarely feels safe to say no but endless acquiescence is expensive: to my mental health, my physical health, to my sense of self. Today the Supreme Court overturned Roe vs. Wade and my socially constructed inability to say no is now coupled with a constitutional one. Being forced to have a child is a life-long sentence.
I pitched this concept to Juxtaposition series creator Christy Anna Wu (@cluumein) shortly after we filmed Like a Fish. She related a lot – self identifying as a “yes woman” too. Christy Anna agreed to codirect and produce and also make her cinematography debut. We each wore about a hundred hats on this single-day-shoot, and while my gaffing attempts made post production tricky, Christy Anna murdered as a one-woman-camera-department, her only support, assistant camera John Thuan Nguyen (johntn.e3), who also recorded our on-set sound and managed DIT.
My very dear friend Heather Peek (@watashiwabunbun) and her gay husband Stefan Parker (@hugeholejoel) lent their talents to this collaboration. Stefan, my favorite wardrobe shopping assistant and interior designer brain to pick, did a fantastic job as our set designer, wardrobe assistant, FX (yes, he is under the table with a shake-weight making that vintage phone appear to ring) and PA. Heather kept us on track as our 1st AD.
When I got into the edit, I found we were light on footage – a common issue on such a short shoot. I found a plethora of interesting quiet moments before takes began thanks to Ruchi Loomba (@ruchil10). I am so honored that she agreed to bring this archetype to life.
Sound design is as important as anything we see on screen and Don Farwell (@earwigstudio) brought so much skill and finesse to this short piece. I deeply appreciate the hard work of this real-life yes-team in bringing this experimental concept to life.